In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, Christine, Gayle, and I went to Taco Bell for lunch. I’ve been to plenty of Taco Bells in the past, so I’ve seen the various class of employees. Today, however, must have been a special day. Multiple classes of Taco Bell employee were represented. It was a lot like being at the Old Country Buffet but without all the sweatpants.
The first individual to help us falls into the morbidly obese genderly agnostic group. I think this person was a woman based off of the voice, but the chin scruff pointed toward male. MOGA-person went on break after Christine ordered, and his/her place was taken by cracked tooth lady.
Cracked tooth lady took the remaining orders, and then informed us that we could win $1000 by taking a phone survey. I’m curious if they have an email address instead. I’d love to send them this gem.
The older woman who actually prepared the food looked like the carrot thief from the Been Caught Stealing video. I’m still not convinced that she isn’t in fact a dude.
There was one worker that appeared to be normal while sitting at a table. Upon standing it was determined that she has a severe limp.
Rounding out this gaggle of ailments was Mr. Whiteshirt, otherwise known at the manager. He was aiding the carrot thief by manning the sour cream caulk gun. You could see the disdain on his face grow with each successive pull of the trigger. I could hear the monologue running in his head. “I have a associates degree in hotel/restaurant management from Devry University. What the hell am I doing here with limpy and tooth rot?”
What we have at this point is a disgruntled manager and the diversity superfecta. As an added bonus, a possibly pregnant teenager snuck in the back to pick up her check.
We got our food and made our way back to Gayle’s car. I sat in the passenger seat thinking about this very story and heard what can only be described as a walrus and a garbage disposal simultaneously chewing on a Chevette. I looked over and saw an old lady (possibly related to toothy) coughing up a lung while parked in a handicap spot. She slowly leaned out the window and deposited a lovely nugget of lung-butter on the ground below.
I wish I could have made up this story.
Posted in Rants by Tom on May 5, 2010 | Comments (0)
I went to Darrenkamps for lunch today as I occasionally do. I was standing line when I heard the cashier (a cute little old lady) say, “Let me put that in another bag. There’s nothing worse than a crushed pie.”
You don’t really see that level of customer service anymore. However, it got me thinking. Is there really nothing worse than a crushed pie? The following, ladies and gentlemen, is a short list of things that Tom feels are worse than crushed pie.
Notice that there aren’t any really big things on this list. Aids is a no brainer, but that doesn’t comply with the spirit this rant. For this purpose, we’ll stick to the range between “crushed pie” and “incurable jock itch.”
- The sound of my son crying
- Seasonal allergies
- Flat beer
- Getting lost in the ghetto
- Mosquitos
- Swiss cheese
- Farting in the shower
- That Autotune vocal effect
- Sitting on your nuts
- The Ice Capades
I’m sure there are more, but I could spend the next year writing this as I thought of more. We’ll just stick to 10 right now.
Posted in Rants by Tom on Apr 13, 2010 | Comments (1)
This has bugged me for a while now. I see this sign on the gas pump every time I gas up at Sheetz. As I wait for my tank to fill, I can’t help but contemplate its meaning.
I think it’s safe assume that it isn’t illegal for someone younger than 16 to operate the pump. I would think that if something is actually illegal, the word “illegal” would be used on the surrounding signs. Hopefully the word “illegal” would be used over other meaningless terms such as “unlawful.”
Is this the opinion of the company? Is this their way of saying that they’d prefer if individuals under the age of 16 not operate their equipment? You’d think that if this was the case, then the sign would say “Persons under the age of 16 are prohibited from operating this fuel dispensing equipment.” While we’re on the subject, what is with the word “persons?” While it may be a proper word, it just sounds arrogant to me. Anyhoo…
My best guess with this sign is that Sheetz wanted to say something to simply discourage those under 16 from using their gear. They probably didn’t want to commit to actually banning people, though. There are states that issue licenses to 15 year olds and I’m guessing that the Sheetz legal department knows that.
In the end, this sign does little more than express an opinion. It’s pretty much the same as stating that “Persons under the age of 16 should calm down with the Axe body spray!”
Audra and I decided to move a couple tables around in the living room so I’d have a place to store my music gear. The basement is totally torn up right now so all of my equipment (minus the amps) is in the living room. I got home the other night and got everything hooked up and decided to give the new digs a test drive.
Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that Audra could hear my guitar in the next room. It wasn’t plugged in, but I guess I was doing enough noodling that the sound snuck through the wall. She woke up during this solo take.
Disclaimer: I know it’s not polished. This was a spur of the moment series of little riffs that I’ve been working on. Had this been an actual song, I would have written a part and actually rehearsed.
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Posted in Music by Tom on Feb 24, 2010 | Comments (0)
