Really? Nothing at all?

I went to Darrenkamps for lunch today as I occasionally do. I was standing line when I heard the cashier (a cute little old lady) say, “Let me put that in another bag. There’s nothing worse than a crushed pie.”

You don’t really see that level of customer service anymore. However, it got me thinking. Is there really nothing worse than a crushed pie? The following, ladies and gentlemen, is a short list of things that Tom feels are worse than crushed pie.

Notice that there aren’t any really big things on this list. Aids is a no brainer, but that doesn’t comply with the spirit this rant. For this purpose, we’ll stick to the range between “crushed pie” and “incurable jock itch.”

• The sound of my son crying
• Seasonal allergies
• Flat beer
• Getting lost in the ghetto
• Mosquitos
• Swiss cheese
• Farting in the shower
• That Autotune vocal effect
• Sitting on your nuts
• The Ice Capades

I’m sure there are more, but I could spend the next year writing this as I thought of more. We’ll just stick to 10 right now.

Posted in Rants by Tom on Apr 13, 2010 | Comments (1)